Do you know what your team wants from you as a leader? I know that most leaders want to deliver what their teams want. Yet, having worked with thousands of people at all levels, I know people aren’t always getting it. And to make it worse, our training and beliefs about leading can get in the way of giving it to them.
What We Think They Want
It doesn’t matter whether you buy into the traditional persona of the leader or not. We have been conditioned by experience, society, and our own career path to think that our teams want our advice and expertise.
We were promoted because we are smart and build subject matter expertise and knowledge. Those things were clearly valued in getting us to our role as a leader. Beyond that, it is seductive to be looked to for answers. Our battle scars and experience give us wisdom and, whether ego-driven or not, we want to share it. We know how to solve problems and make decisions. So, when our teams come to us with a problem, we put on our expected and comfortable problem-solving hat.
You see the team member with a problem to solve, and you want to help. Chances are you do have knowledge, wise counsel, and advice to share with your team. And there is a time and a place to share it.
But that isn’t always what your team wants – or what they want first.
What They Want More of (Instead)
Beyond your advice, they want your attention. They want to be heard and asked for their opinion. They want to know that you value their ideas and insights, even if they are incomplete. Stop what you are doing and focus on others and their ideas, agendas, and issues. The relationship building progress you will make is more important than the answer to any specific question. Giving our time and attention to our team and individual team members shows we value them.
Beyond your expertise, they want your ears. Listen to them before you give them answers. Hear what they are excited about, struggling with, and yes, what troubles them. Have you ever given advice and later realized it was incomplete (or inaccurate)? Perhaps it was because you didn’t really understand what the situation was or what you were being asked. When we (really) listen, people know they have been heard.
Your team wants to be valued and heard – and you deliver that with your attention and ears. And yes, they sometimes want (and need) your advice and expertise too. However, when you start by giving them your attention and ears, they will be more receptive and ready for the advice too.
Are you giving your team what they want, or what you want them to want?
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