I often say that facts dictate the need for change, and emotions create the barrier to it. Changing from one way of doing things (behavior) to a different one always involves loss, and loss triggers powerful negative emotions. You must understand and address those negative emotions to successfully influence change. I’ve often talked about about the
One challenge I see when people, and especially new leaders, attempt to address a conflict is the desire to ignore or minimize the emotional side of it. They attempt to persuade the other party with logic, data and reason, and take the emotion completely out of it. I have been guilty of this error myself,
I have two colleagues. Both of them contribute something valuable to our personal and professional relationships. Both of them are good at what they do. Both of them have strong opinions. Both of them feel free to express their opinions. Both of them have direct and bottom-line communication styles. Both of them are task oriented. Both of
As I watch the politicians in what seems like an ongoing heated battle over this or that these days, I wonder if very many politicians really understand how to build consensus and to reach joint decisions that protect the interests (as much as possible) of everyone involved. I see leaders from all sides of the
When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally
There are times in both personal and professional situations where apparent road blocks get in the way of achieving your desired goals. Earlier in my life, these road blocks discouraged me. Now, I just see them as detours, and I have learned to learn from the detours. I learned to use them to get where
The communication process really should be easy. You say something to other people. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. However, it’s not quite that easy. In reality, the process for spoken communication goes something like this: You get a picture in your mind of
I want you to pause for a minute and imagine this scenario: You ask an employee, coworker, friend or family member for an honest opinion. The person offers it, but it’s not exactly what you wanted to hear. Perhaps your spouse commented that she didn’t like the new dish you prepared. Or your coworker disagreed
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