I often say that facts dictate the need for change, and emotions create the barrier to it. Changing from one way of doing things (behavior) to a different one always involves loss, and loss triggers powerful negative emotions. You must understand and address those negative emotions to successfully influence change. I’ve often talked about about the

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Have you ever looked carefully at a ship afloat? What do you notice about the water? As a submarine officer, I had plenty of opportunities to see ships tied to the dock, ships in transit in the harbor and ships in the open sea. All of them have this in common: They are held afloat

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I have two colleagues. Both of them contribute something valuable to our personal and professional relationships. Both of them are good at what they do. Both of them have strong opinions. Both of them feel free to express their opinions. Both of them have direct and bottom-line communication styles. Both of them are task oriented. Both of

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When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally

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There are times in both personal and professional situations where apparent road blocks get in the way of achieving your desired goals. Earlier in my life, these road blocks discouraged me. Now, I just see them as detours, and I have learned to learn from the detours. I learned to use them to get where

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The communication process really should be easy. You say something to other people. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. However, it’s not quite that easy. In reality, the process for spoken communication goes something like this: You get a picture in your mind of

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When employees needs are not met, they find it difficult — if not impossible — to focus on anything else. As their leader, you play a pivotal role in ensuring that those needs are met. If you put in the time and effort, employees will perform at a higher level, will be more loyal and

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I want you to pause for a minute and imagine this scenario: You ask an employee, coworker, friend or family member for an honest opinion. The person offers it, but it’s not exactly what you wanted to hear. Perhaps your spouse commented that she didn’t like the new dish you prepared. Or your coworker disagreed

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