Leadership Lessons from a Two-Year Old

Over the last two months I have had the opportunity to spend a significant amount of time with my two-year old granddaughter, Lillian. From those interactions, I have been reminded of a number of key leadership points that are easy to forget in the rush of business and life. What I’m about to share with you is probably not new. Rather, it’s likely to be for you what it is for me – a reminder.

Here are four of the ideas that have been highlighted in my recent experience with Lillian.

Slow Down

I’m almost fifty-four years old. I know things that Lillian doesn’t know. That shouldn’t be a big surprise to anyone. What I’m reminded of in my interactions with her is that I need to slow down when I interact with her. I need to take my time and give her the opportunity to learn lessons on her own rather than have me tell or give her the lesson.

I notice that when I try to tell her things, she resists me and fights the learning. When I slow down and make time for her to wrestle with a problem, challenge, or new situation, she learns how to handle it the next time and she does it without “fighting” me.

Listen first, speak second

One way to slow down is to spend more time listening and less time talking. When I let Lillian talk first, I hear what she wants or needs so that I can respond to her appropriately, and she receives what I have to say enthusiastically and happily. When I talk without listening, she tends to “push back” by insisting on what she wants without listening to what I’m trying to say.

Allow for alternate solution paths

Even at two years old, Lillian wants to do things her way. For example, she likes to sit with me in my home office and “help” me. I’ve given her a desk chair, an old mouse, keyboard, phone, and headset that she can use while she “helps” me.

When she comes into my office, she likes to climb into her chair on her own. When I try to help her, she gets frustrated and pulls away. When I let her do it on her own, she finds a way to get into the chair (not the way that I envisioned) and she’s happy with the result. She often sits in the chair and beams a huge two-year old smile at me after she gets in the chair. The process of getting into the chair looks painful to me, but she does it safely and relatively quickly. And, she’s happy with the result when she does it her way rather than my way.

Encourage more than you correct

Lillian makes lots of mistakes. She’s only two. She’s still learning.

When I try to tell her what she’s doing wrong, she gets upset. When I encourage her to keep trying and learning, she figures things out and learns the lessons pretty quickly.

Each of these lessons apply to your role as a leader in the workplace as much as they apply to my role as a grandfather and father in my family. The people on your team will probably respond more positively when you slow down, listen first, allow them to solve the problem, and encourage them more than you correct them.