FAQ Series: Dealing with People Who Jump Ahead of You with Incorrect Assumptions

One of the questions we got during our recent Bud to Boss Livecast  addresses a common communication frustration.

Here’s the question…

“How can I capture the attention of others so they listen, hear and understand – as opposed to having them ‘tune out’ or jump ahead to an incorrect conclusion/assumption – especially when I don’t know the other person’s communication style or expectations.”

And here’s our answer…

The broad answer to the question is to figure out their communication style so that you can better understand their focus, and then speak to their focus. When you do that, you will capture their attention.

Since we don’t know the person who is jumping ahead, we can’t offer a definitive technique or strategy that fits every situation. We can, though, make a general observation.

People who jump ahead of conversations and make assumptions often have a fast-paced, outgoing behavior and communication pattern. That single observation gives you a clue to both their communication style and expectations.

Using an understanding of the DISC model, you can see that people with outgoing traits tend to make decisions quickly and with limited information. Once you understand this about their communication preferences, you can quickly make a guess about their focus and expectations so that you can capture their attention.

Using this starting point, the approach to capture their attention comes down to a simple idea…

Big-picture first, data second.

This means that you want to give them the main point or conclusion quickly and then fill-in the details, rather than tell a story or lead them through a decision-making process that eventually arrives at a conclusion.

If you know a little bit about the person, you can refine this approach even further.

If they tend to focus on results and data in preference to relationships and emotions, they likely have a Dominant and Direct communication style. If this is the case…

• Get to the point quickly — offer the results or conclusions and then your data or analysis.
• Focus on results and outcomes — process and feelings are less important to them than results.
• Give them options — they want the opportunity to choose.

If they tend to focus on people and relationships in preference to results and data, they likely have an Inspiring and Interactive communication style. If this is the case…

• Smile — they tend to be very much in-tune with your body language and facial expressions as a way to “read” your emotions.
• Show some enthusiasm — if you seem bored, they will be bored.
• Use stories and experiences more than facts and figures — they tend to relate to the communication of emotion over the communication of facts.

If they continue to jump ahead of you, interrupt, and make assumptions, you can follow-up with the “Yes, and” strategy to redirect the conversation and get it back on track. More on the “Yes, and” strategy in an upcoming post.

Now, we’d love to hear from you. What communication strategies do you use to capture the attention of your audience (of one or many!)? How do these strategies differ based on their communication style? Leave your answer in the comments below.