In a previous post, I shared a tip for how to quickly capture the attention of someone who tends to jump ahead and make assumptions about what you are attempting to communicate. In this post, I’m taking my answer to the original question about dealing with interruptions one step farther to share a technique you can use if your attempt to capture their attention fails to stop the interruptions.
Consider this scenario…
You’re attempting to communicate with a person who frequently interrupts the flow of your conversation with arguments or comments that dispute (or correct) a point that they assume you are making and their assumption is wrong. They have now redirected the conversation away from your original point and forced the discussion into the direction they assumed you were headed.
They are mistaken, and possibly frustrated. You are almost assuredly frustrated.
One common approach in this situation is to attempt to correct their misinterpretation with a clarifying comment. If the conversation is going well, you have a high degree of trust between you and the other person, and no one is in an elevated emotional state, this approach might work.
And, it might not.
Sadly, this last statement is true of every communication technique. It might work – and – it might not.
The “Clarifying comment” technique is a great and useful tool. It is, however, only one of many useful tools I suggest that you have in your communication tool box.
As Abraham Maslow said, “it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.” If the only tool you have for interruptions is clarifying, you just might clarify yourself into a nasty conversation by overusing that tool.
As I said before, under the right circumstances and with the right relationship with the other person, the Clarifying comment approach might work. Which begs the question, what if it doesn’t work?
In that case, you can try a different tool from your communication tool box. I call it the “Yes, and” strategy.
Here’s how it works…
They just interrupted you with a comment that is clearly a wrong assumption about your point or perspective. You reply with a comment that acknowledges their point and then bridges to yours. It could sound like one of these statements…
- “Yes, that could be true, and I was thinking…”
- “That’s an interesting point, and I was thinking…”
- “I hadn’t thought about that. I was thinking…”
The general idea is to first acknowledge and affirm their idea (not necessarily agree with it, just acknowledge they have it without arguing), and then move smoothly to your actual point. You don’t actually have to use the words “Yes” and “and”, the name of the strategy is just a way to remember the concept.
As you apply the “Yes, and” strategy, remember this caveat: No communication tool works in every situation with every person. You need many tools.
Add this tool to your communication toolbox, and keep learning and growing to become the Remarkable Leader and communicator you can become.
And for even more resources to help you become a Remarkable Leader, check out our Bud to Boss and Remarkable Leadership workshops.
Very helpful.