One of the best ways to improve at something is to get feedback and input from others. Alternate perspectives can open up new opportunities to raise our current level of performance to a new, higher one. And how we receive that input is as important as what we do with it. To use the feedback we get and ensure that we will keep getting it, we must stop justifying our actions.
Here's what I mean
Imagine this scenario…
Javier was the presenter at a meeting Jolene attended. Jolene wants to help Javier improve, so she offers him some feedback. As she finishes (or maybe even before she finishes), Javier explains and justifies why he did what he did.
Will Javier benefit from Jolene’s feedback? And how likely will Jolene give feedback in the future? (Especially if Javier continues to justify his choices as the first response to the feedback?)
My answers are no, and not very likely.
Justification Stunts Your Growth
Justifying our performance, behavior, and choices (to ourselves or others) drastically impairs the chances we will change anything. After all, we just justified why we did what we did, so why change?
If we want to get feedback and input, we must welcome it. Justification is the opposite of welcoming feedback and input. To effectively apply any feedback we receive, we must first accept it. Justification stops of short of acceptance.
We justify our choices to try and prove we were right. We defend, condone, and even absolve ourselves of any errors or mistakes. We aren’t being truly open to the feedback if we don’t at least consider its validity. Instead, our behavior was “just fine, thank you.”
Instead...
Simply put, stop justifying your actions. Stop the explanations, rationalizations, and excuses. They are just barriers to you understanding and fully accepting the feedback. And until those two things happen, you have no chance of using the input of others to improve your future results.
Justification is a common, natural, human response. It is a form of self-preservation. But now hopefully you see it isn’t always in your best interest. The next time you notice yourself justifying your actions, do these things instead.
- Stop justifying. Mid-sentence, if necessary.
- Apologize to the other person (or yourself, if you are having an internal conversation).
- Ask them to share their feedback again. And shut up this time.
- Make sure you understand what they are (and aren’t) saying.
- Thank them.
- Learn from this new information. Take the time to get past your excusing/justifying/rationalizing mindset and find the value in the feedback.
- Decide what action to take as a result. Maybe there isn’t a change you will make. But whether you do or not, you have learned from the feedback you initially denied.
We can’t grow if we don’t know. And we can’t know if we don’t accept the feedback we’ve been given. Justifying, rationalizing, or downplaying the feedback effectively stops our growth.
How often do you do those things?
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