William James has been called “the father of American Psychology.” He was a trained physician and wrote voluminously. (Interestingly enough Ralph Waldo Emerson was his Godfather). He is most known for his self-trained work in psychology and philosophy. He is widely quoted 100 years after his death, and nothing he wrote is any more quoted that the powerful quotation that follows.
The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
— William James 1842-1910
Questions to Ponder
Do I agree with James?
If appreciation isn’t the deepest craving, what is?
How can I show my appreciation for others more?
Action Steps
- Show your appreciation for others more often.
- Find at least five ways to do this everyday.
- Don’t sleep tonight until you have done this in five small or large ways.
- Do it again tomorrow (and the next day) until it is your habit.
My Thoughts
I believe James’ premise. And I believe that this truth, acted on, can make a difference in your success as a leader and your success in life. Consider this – as a leader we are in the business of influencing others to make choices and take actions that benefit both them and the organization, right?
In which case will we be a more successful influencer, when we are helping people get their needs met, or if we ignore their needs?
Pragmatism proves that former to be the case.
When you look for things to appreciate, you will find them. (So start looking).
When you think about ways to show that appreciation, they will come to you. But let me give you a very limited list to help jumpstart your thinking . . .
- Say “Thanks”
- Provide specific positive feedback
- Give people an opportunity to learn something new
- Show your trust in them
This very abbreviated list raises two important points – showing appreciation can come in formal and informal ways, and can come from words and actions.
If you are looking for ways to help you and others build habit of showing people appreciation and feeding this deep craving, you can check out our products at YouAreRemarkable.com.
While I do agree with James, what I believe as more important is taking full control of the craving itself! As nothing comes on its own, human nature demands a firm inclination to certain specific principle(s) that helps and assists to love, learn and lead career and life with all ups and downs.
Thanks, Kevin for sharing your expert experiences and findings to sustain my leadership qualities.
Love this! I work with clients using an approach called Appreciative Inquiry – it opens people up for innovation, discovered through their stories of success. Thanks for spotlighting this Kevin!
Elaine – AI is GREAT stuff. Thanks for your comment. Making that connection is a great one.
Kevin 🙂
I agree. Human beings thrive on positive feedback and appreciation. It is however important to keep your personal craving for appreciation in check as a Leader. If you don’t you run the risk of constantly trying to satisfy this craving by trying to please people. This may impede your ability to make tough or unpopular decisions when it is necessary.