Would you like to have people hear you, value your input, and more often follow your lead and ideas? If so, you are striving for greater influence. When you have greater influence, you have greater confidence, you are less stressed, and will likely be more productive. Those are all good things. But when people think about having greater influence, they often have some self-limiting beliefs that get in their way. Let’s dispel some myths and help you get out of the starting gate to be a more powerful influencer.
The Myths
- It isn’t just position. We often think of influence as being something that comes with position. The President is influential. A judge is influential. And more personally – our parents or our boss are influential. All of those people can be influential with us, but is it only position? Taken alone, positional influence often leads to compliance, but not commitment in others.
- It isn’t about pushy. Some people feel that if they try to be influential, they will come across as pushy. You likely know people you might view as pushy. But you wouldn’t classify everyone you find influential in that way, would you?
- It isn’t in your DNA. Some people seem naturally influential and persuasive. While it is possible that their unique, personal characteristics help, not all of the approaches to influence come at birth. And just because it looks easy to them now, doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard to build those skills.
The Starting Point
The myths point to influence as given, taken, or a gift at birth.
But they are myths.
The truth is everyone is naturally influential. We all have greater influence than we likely realize. Let me prove it to you.
- When you smile. When you smile at someone, what do they do? They instinctively and almost automatically smile back. Why did they smile? Because you did. Isn’t this proof of your influence?
- With your friends. You are influential with your friends. They take your advice, buy clothes like yours, listen to what you listen to, and watch what you watch. Why? Because they know, like, and trust you.
- In everyday events. Hold a door open for someone. Wave people through the parking lot while you wait for them. Pick up something someone dropped. When you do those things, you change the mood and outlook of others. Like the smile – you might not say a word. But you influenced their outlook and attitude, perhaps for the rest of the day. (And yes, you could do things that might negatively influence them too. But why would we want to focus on those, even though they prove the same point?)
The starting point to being more influential is realizing that you already have greater influence than you know. From that starting point, we can go to work building skills to gain even greater influence.
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