When I walk through airports, I see people carrying massive backpacks. I often wonder what they are carrying and if they need it all. I wonder how much weight they are carrying and how healthy it is for their bodies. After all, just because the bag will hold it, doesn’t mean it is needed. Then I think of that bag as a metaphor for leaders. Leaders have plenty to carry – responsibilities, tasks, concerns, and expectations. But sometimes leaders are carrying things they need to let go.
Like the people walking to and from their planes, leaders have a big bag. Most have it crammed full. It’s no wonder we are tired, with a sore back, and are occasionally a bit grumpy.
Put down your pack and open it up. If you are carrying any of these things, think about what might happen if you took them out of the bag and let go.
Let Go of the Need to be Right
We all like to be right or have the right answers. And we know that as the leader, people are looking to us for answers and solutions. This can be a seductive combination. But coupling the desire with the expectation can lead us to hold on “right.” Taken to the extreme, people will see us as ego-driven and unwilling to listen. At a minimum, the need to be right can set up a personal blind spot. And needing to be right is a false goal- you can’t know it all anyway!
Besides, while you would like a knowledgeable boss, do you want them to be a know-it-all? I know your answer and maybe that will help you let go of the need to be right.
Let Go of Needing to Speak
When most people think of great leaders, they think of good communicators and speakers. And when we sit in meetings and town hall events, the senior leaders are often speaking. It is understandable that we equate good leadership with good speaking skills.
But the best leaders don’t always feel the need to speak. When we speak first and most, we stifle the ideas and ingenuity and engagement of our teams. Building your speaking skills is a good goal. But sometimes we need to let go of the need to speak and shut up. Good things will most always come with we ask and listen first, before we speak.
Let Go of Being the Problem Solver
You likely got promoted in part because you could assess situations and solve problems. You could put out fires with the best of them. When you got promoted, you brought those firefighting, problem solving skills with you and kept on using them.
The unspoken expectation is that you are the problem solver. So, every time your people have a problem, they bring them to you. Where does this lead? To you being overwhelmed, not developing or trusting your team, and perhaps people seeing you as a micro-manager.
If you want to avoid those outcomes, let go of being the sole problem solver on your team.
Let Go of Being the Hero
Most of us would like to be a hero at least some of the time. And in many of the stories we read and movies we watch, the leader is a hero. It is therefore easy for us to conclude: leader=hero.
Except…
No leader can really do it alone. And no one wants a leader who takes all the credit.
Let go of needing to be the hero and make the team the hero. You will be amazed how much more engagement, accountability, and fun you will have. And how much lighter your bag will feel.
Let Go of Control
Here’s the big one. Each of the other four are at least related to – if not rooted in – the need for control. It takes trust in others and a leap of faith to let go of control. It might not be easy.
But you can’t do it alone anyway. If you could why do you need a team?
If you let go of the need for control, what do you hold onto?
Influence.
Most of the work of leadership is in the realm of influence. We do things to influence results or to influence others. We can’t control those things, even if we want to. By letting go of control and picking up influence, we begin to create accountability, synergy, commitment, engagement, and greater success.
Before You Leave…
Now that you have read this list, don’t just nod your head. Stop and ask yourself: Which of these things am I carrying? Then consider how your results, satisfaction, and mental health improve if you let go of them.
Letting go might not be easy and it will likely be scary. But by lightening your current load, you can carry your remaining responsibilities longer and more effectively with less chance of exhaustion or a backache.
I love this module. I need to let go of the need to be right and the need to be the hero. I have always had the mind set if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
I still have to tell myself teach you team their worth so they can never sell themselves short.