The Questions to Ask Before You Ask a Question

We all ask questions every day, so many that we seldom stop to think about how to ask them more effectively. And if we do decide to work on our question-asking skills, we often focus on the words we choose and maybe the tone of our voices. As important as those things are to successful questions, it is what comes before you ask the question that is most important.

Asking questions as a leader is especially important and sometimes tricky. Because of our positional power, our questions can be easily misinterpreted. That makes our preparation in asking extra important.

Here are some questions you can use to help you think about your intention and goals for your questions. When those are clearer, you will ask better more effective questions – and most importantly, sometimes decide not to ask the question at all.

The Questions

• What do you hope to accomplish with your question? If you want to ask successful questions, you must know the outcome you want. Not the answer, but the results of the question-asking exercise. Are you after agreement, understanding, next steps, information, trust-building, or several of those outcomes? When you are clear on your intention, it will inform the other questions that follow.
• How might your question be misinterpreted? This is an important question to consider – especially as a leader. While you won’t always know how it might be misinterpreted, thinking about it will help you ask your question more effectively. Sometimes thinking about this will allow you to frame the question before you ask it to minimize the risk. When you do ask, always notice the responses including the nonverbal ones. If you sense there is misalignment, stop and reframe your question.
• Have you already decided? I’ll put this as plainly as I can. If you already have a decision, don’t ask people for their opinion. Nothing positive can come from that. If you have already decided on something – don’t ask for an opinion or perspective, instead inform people of the decision.
• What assumptions are you making about the topic? If you consider this question, you set yourself up to ask a better question. Make sure your assumption on the topic doesn’t create a leading question. Ask questions as openly as possible.
• What assumptions are you making about the audience and/or their answers? Much like assumptions on the topic, if we assume things about what the audience thinks or will say, we might ask the question in a way that creates a pre-determined outcome or reduces trust in those you are asking.
• Is this the right time for the question? Timing of a question can matter as much as the words or way we ask the question. Sometimes we might be impatient to get answers, but when we consider timing, we might realize that Monday or this afternoon or after the project is over might be a better time.
• Is this the right place for the question? Consider where you will ask the question, because the environment could have a big impact on the responses you get. This question could lead to asking it asynchronously in email or instant message as well.
• Would the question be more effective in a group or asked individually? It will usually be more efficient to ask the question once in a group. But often that might not be the most effective approach. Think about that first before you fire off your question.

While we can’t think about all these questions all the time, we can stop to consider our intentions more frequently – and certainly when the stakes of the questions we are going to ask are higher. The clearer we are of our intentions or goals for our questions, the more successful questions we will ask. And more importantly, more successful questions will lead to better relationships, better decisions, clearer focus, higher trust and much more.

Which of these questions will help you most often?