Comfort with Tension: The New Leadership Imperative

Tension. It’s something we like in the plot of a movie or novel. It’s something that has us bingeing a show we like. But tension in our work and decisions? For most of us, we’d prefer less of it. Preferring is fine, but reality is different – especially at work. As a leader, we need a healthy comfort with tension. You might be wondering what kind of tension I’m talking about…

I’m not suggesting we need to be ok with conflicts that simmer among teammates or groups – the kind that cause discomfort and reduce work effectiveness and efficiency.

I’m referring to the tensions that arise from competing ideas and approaches that exist in a complicated, complex, and uncertain world. In other words, the real world where there are few perfectly right answers and leaders must navigate and flex given the seemingly competing contexts that encounter.

Since that is our world, we need to add comfort with tension to the list of skills and abilities leaders must possess.

Let’s get specific.

• Do we need to think in the short term or long term? Yes – and there is a tension between them – because the better or easier answer to one might not lead to the other.
• Do we need to give positive or negative feedback? Yes – both are important, and both need to be given effectively and in the right situations.
• Do we need to focus on our employees or our customers first? Yes – we need both groups for us to succeed and this tension is very real.
• Do we need to drive results or focus on the process? Yes – without results we won’t succeed – but if the process is broken and it takes a hero’s effort to get results, we have big problems.
• Do we need to go fast or slow down? Again, both are valuable right?
  I could give you many more examples, but I hope these illustrate the point.

Note that all of them are framed as “either/or” questions, but the most effective answer for each is to consider “both/and” rather than “either/or”. When we see the world as both/and, we can more effectively see and feel the tension between the seemingly opposing (but ultimately symbiotic) ideas.

When we think “either/or”, we feel may feel the tension, but once we “pick a side” we ignore (or try to ignore) the complexity of the situation.

When we acknowledge the tension, we can begin developing comfort with it. That gives us the chance to see that, for example, both the short- and long-term matter and that going both fast and slow can serve us.

These are examples of what I call flexors in my new book, Flexible Leadership: Navigate Uncertainty and Lead with Confidence. And we can build our comfort with tension when we see the ends (the former black and white choices) as sources of tension we can resolve.

Comfort comes when we know which direction to flex or lean between ends of the spectrum. But it starts by simply acknowledging that the tension exists and that dealing with it matters to our results.