One of the questions I get asked regularly – and more frequently now – is “how do I lead when most (or all) of my team is older than me?” I must admit that I have personally dealt with this situation, but it was some time ago. Now, I suppose I look at this situation from the older perspective.
I’ve been working with and observing leaders for many years, and I think my perspective is more complete now. Here’s what I see . . .
Younger leaders, often in their first leadership role, are concerned about leading those older than they are, possibly people who trained them. They wonder how they will be able to lead successfully and gain respect. More often than not what people asking this question are searching for more than a technique; it’s really a search for confidence.
With that backdrop, let me share five strategies that will help you if you are in this situation (or coaching someone who is):
Recognize the issue may be yours.
When people ask about this issue, I typically ask what behaviors are causing a problem. Often I receive a quizzical look in return. Why? Because sometimes there isn’t an issue from the older person at all. Perhaps you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Perhaps your issue is more about your own competence, and the challenge is mostly about you. Perhaps what is seen by you as an issue is simply someone getting used to a new leader – regardless of his/her age.
Talk about it.
Whether the age issue is real or perceived, yours or theirs, it is worth talking about. Left un-discussed it can become the elephant in the room causing miscommunication and misunderstanding. Bring up the topic with the individuals or group you lead. Talk about your perception or concerns. Ask them to share their perceptions as well. Opening the lines of communication may solve the immediate challenges, and set the stage for more open communication on all issues in the future.
Show respect to build respect.
Often the young leader’s concern is about gaining respect. The best way to build respect is to be respectful. Respect the work, experience and wisdom of those you lead (regardless of their age). If people do have a problem with your age, part of it may well be that they don’t feel you respect them. They may see you wanting to use new approaches, new technologies and relying on new ideas without regard for them and their opinions. All of these can be good things, but may not acknowledge others personally or professionally. Work to be respectful of those you lead.
Seek their advice.
One way to build respect and trust is to ask people for their advice. One of the best ways to acknowledge people is to ask them what they think. You also can do more than ask for advice, you can ask for their help. You might be amazed how far a little humility will go when leading others – especially early in your tenure.
Let it go.
Taking action on the advice given so far will help. But after doing these four things consistently, if you still feel a challenge based on your age, let it go. Whether the perception issue is theirs, or yours, at some point it simply gets in the way of building your skills and confidence. Let go of the concerns. Let go of the perceived slights. Let go of the snide comments that might be made. Let go and focus on leading.
Of course, it is possible that you have a person who truly resents the fact that a “wet-behind-the-ears-kid” is now the boss. The advice above will start the process of improving her perception of you, but it may not work magic. That’s OK – in the end remember that his perception is his reality. Just keep leading and persistently work to build your competence in her eyes. Eventually he’ll begin to see you in a new way or will notice your newly arriving gray hair.
Some really good points Kevin. When I was first promoted to run a team, I found it difficult, mostly because I perceived that my team (who previously were peers) knew more than I did. They were older, they had been in the region longer, they knew the culture better than me (I had recently moved from Europe) and they had longer periods of success than I did. I struggled with this for a while. I truly believe that if I had sought out advice (such as yours in this post) I would have settled in a lot quicker than I did. In the end you’ve got to make sure your EQ is front and center, be human and deliver on your promises … your advice above is spot on. Thanks.
Thanks Andy – I appreciate the thoughts.
Kevin 🙂
Hi Kevin!
Congratulations on your new book and for addressing this sensitive and timely topic! you provided thought-provoking points to support leaders across the generations. I mentor Gen Y females (although I consider them my mentors!).
Susan
Susan – thanks for your comment. The best mentors realize that they can learn from those those mentor as well.
Kevin 🙂
I’m 31, as a commissioned officer in the coast guard at my first cutter, not only was I supervising people who were older than me- some had been in the coast guard longer than I had been alive.
In every job I’ve had (2002-present, i’ve been out since 2007) I’ve had older people working for me or with me. Like you said, the key is respect and communication.
However, don’t put up with disrespect, if you there is someone who has been around for a while, who still has that attitude, odds are they should have been kicked to the curb a long time ago.
That being said, sometimes if they make fun of you, its because they like you. Learn the difference.
A really down to earth article, Kevin, that really, can be applied to leadership in general whenever taking on a new role. That initial impression you radiate out as a new leader is a lasting one, and can either energize your new team, or confirm the doubts they have, which will certainly translate into how the team reacts and performs. It is always good to be reminded of valuable tips, again, when taking on any new leadership. Thanks again.
Hi Kevin
Nice approach to a more and more frequent leadership “issue”.
Having led older people in many functions and projects, I see that this is problem only the first time it happens. After realizing that this is the reality in the majority of businesses around the world you and your team then feel more comfortable with the idea and just start working together to perform. Its good to ask for the opinion of the older/more experienced in order to get feedback, bring themon board & reach consensus-but the leader always shows the way.
The only case that it could be a problem to lead older colleagues it would be in environments where the company/society culture believes older age and maturity in leadership is the same thing.
What I would seriously consider in case younger managers had to be promoted in a senior position above older colleagues, would be that they should have shown at their previous positions that they can balance their energy and competitiveness (driven by their.. testosterone) with good analytical thinking and mature action/reaction in both opportunities and threats that they have been faced so far.
Maybe you should start fixing your grammar before you lead others. Correction: “My entire team is older than I” (am).
It is all about communication and leverage. Some see this kind of scenario as a problem even before properly evaluating it. Other, talk openly about it and take advantage of it. !
Hi Kevin, thought I would pop in here as this topic intrigued me. I have seen this issue from both sides as well. I want to echo Mathews sentiments above from the reverse; if your team doesn’t feel comfortable joking around with you they may not like you. Then again, at the end of the day respect is more important than being liked.
In my experience if you could finger one attribute that the leader has that has separated them from the older people that they are supervising, in a word, initiative. But your comments are spot on regarding seeking the advice and counsel of the older team members. While initiative is great, an older persons view can help focus that initiative and make sure that it is pointed in the right direction.