How patient are you with yourself?
Last week, I asked you to consider how patient you are with others—a question that’s deeply important for leaders. But today, I want to turn the lens inward. Because the patience we offer others is often directly tied to the patience we show ourselves.
So let me ask again: How patient are you with yourself?
Four Questions to Consider
When things don’t go as planned, when setbacks occur, or when you fall short of your own expectations, what happens next? The answers lie in how you process and respond. I encourage you to reflect on these four powerful questions:
1. What Is Your Self-Talk Saying?
When a challenge arises or you’re disappointed in yourself, how do you speak to yourself? Are you giving yourself grace, or are you piling on guilt, shame, and stress? Negative self-talk can drag us down, create impatience, and lead to frustration. Be mindful of the words you’re using with yourself. Are they helping you move forward?
2. How Quickly Can You Zoom Out?
Impatience often comes from being so deep in the problem that we can’t see beyond it. I’ve learned that when I intentionally step back and take a broader view, I can see the mistake or challenge for what it is: a single moment, not a defining failure. Zooming out allows you to give yourself some grace and say, “Okay, what’s next?”
3. Can You Stay in the Present Moment?
If you find yourself ruminating, replaying mistakes, or catastrophizing, you’re not alone. But staying grounded in the present moment gives you the power to respond with purpose. When we stay present, we prevent ourselves from spiraling and instead focus on what we can do right now to move forward.
4. How Often Do You Spiral into Negative Thoughts?
Spiraling into worst-case scenarios is a natural response, but it doesn’t serve us well as leaders—or as human beings. Recognizing when this happens allows us to stop, reassess, and regain control over our mindset and actions.
Why Patience With Yourself Matters
Being patient with yourself isn’t about lowering standards or excusing poor performance. It’s about creating space for growth. Here’s what I’ve found:
- It helps you model healthy patience for others. When you demonstrate that patience with yourself, you set an example for your team. You show them it’s possible to hold high expectations without adding unnecessary pressure.
- It builds personal and team resilience. When you approach challenges with patience, you bounce back faster and encourage your team to do the same.
- It helps you manage expectations more effectively. Ambition is great, but setting the bar impossibly high creates frustration. When we set realistic short-term goals alongside long-term aspirations, we allow ourselves to succeed and grow sustainably.
- It reduces unnecessary stress. There are already countless causes of stress in our professional and personal lives. Let’s not add impatience with ourselves to that list.
As you think about your leadership and your life, I encourage you to reflect on this:
How does your patience with yourself impact your effectiveness as a leader?
Leadership is a journey, not a destination. We’re all a work in progress. By answering these questions honestly and practicing intentional patience, you’ll not only become a better leader—you’ll also experience less stress and greater satisfaction along the way.
I invite you to spend some time this week reflecting on these ideas. Your answers will help shape your effectiveness and well-being as a leader.
0 comments