Say Yes to Being Late (in these four situations)

Most successful people pride themselves on being on top of things, delivering when promised and generally being on time. In fact the highest achievers are typically high achievers because they don’t procrastinate and are able to get lots done on time. Think about this another way, most of us have been taught the value of being on time in all sorts of situations — and how it positively impacts our results and our relationships.

Given this conventional wisdom, how can I be suggesting that we intentionally choose to be late?

It’s simple —while being on time for meetings, delivering things when promised, (you can add to this list yourself) is important, that doesn’t mean that being on time (or early) is the best choice in every case.

So let’s explore four situations when it makes good sense to wait, and maybe even be late. Before I share these four ideas with you, I encourage you to think about each from all of the various roles you play in life, including, leader, co-worker, professional, family member, neighbor, spouse and parent.

Enough set up (I don’t want to be too late in giving you these thoughts!)

Anger and frustration. Have you ever shared your anger and later wished you had said nothing or waited a bit?   I’m guessing either this is a persistent challenge for you, or you know someone well for whom it is. Count to ten, bite your tongue, or take a deep breath. Whatever it takes to “be late” sharing your anger or frustration with others will benefit you immensely. When we remember that our anger is always our choice, we put ourselves in better control of when we choose to share it!

Judgment. Ah, first impressions are powerful. Whether about people, a business opportunity, a problem or a thousand other situations, when we allow our initial judgments to form our full opinion we put ourselves —and our decisions —at risk.  We should definitely note and be aware of our initial reactions to a situation, but we should stay in a state of pure observation longer and suspend our judgment at first. Being late with our judgment will lead to more complete information and better decisions.

Sharing your ideas. Imagine you are with a group of people trying to solve a problem or make a decision. It might seem like a good idea to jump in with your ideas to get the group going. While this may be true, your eagerness can be misconstrued as a desire to be in control. While it is important to have your ideas on the table, if you want the best chance to have your ideas considered or implemented, you must focus on the idea not on the fact that it is yours. You can best achieve this by supporting others and their ideas, and adding yours later in the conversation. This is especially important if you are in a position or role of leadership.

Talking in general. Do you always have to be the first person to share your thoughts and opinions? Remember that when we are talking, we can’t be listening — and listening is as important in the communication process as speaking, isn’t it?  And which is more rare, people being willing to talk, or really listening? Wait; let the other person “go first,” listen to them carefully, and be willing to “be later” with your words.  Your result?  Better communication and relationships.

Yes, there is a much longer list of situations and examples of when being on time —or early— will best serve you.  And yet, I think you will find that for these things, and perhaps for a few others this short article inspires you to think of, waiting, and being a little late is the most valuable choice.

The good news is that for each person reading this list, at least one of these is relatively easy to deal with. The bad news, is that there is likely one of these that is a challenge for you!

Think about the complete list, your strengths and blind spots, and expand the list now that you are thinking about the virtues of being late. Time spent reflecting on these ideas will pay dividends in your life.

photo credit hirotomo