things our parents told usRecently, I have been hearing my mom and dad in my ear. There are things my parents told me a kid that have become a part of my belief system. But when I thought about them as a leader, I gained a whole other level of insight. Because of this mental exercise, I decided to ask others about the things their parents told them, to see what other leadership lessons I could uncover. This article is the result.

While our parents may not have said all these things, it is not hard to hear them as things parents told us. Familiar to you or not, I hope the leadership lesson I draw from each is valuable to you.

“Do it right the first time.” As valuable as this idea is (the version I heard was “If you don’t take the time to do it right now, you will have to do it again later”), there is a downside. Sometimes, when we haven’t done something before, we may not be able to “do it right” because we might not know what “right” is yet. As leaders, we can set clear direction and define clear expectations. When people know what “right” is, this makes great sense. Until then, this advice might keep us from taking any action at all.

“Every thought in your head does not need to come out your mouth.” This is a powerful thought for us as communicators, but especially as leaders. A bit more thought about our words will serve all of us well.

“Work hard and it will pay off.” And the related, “Hard work never hurt anyone.” Doing the work of leading is hard work.  Investing in ourselves to become more effective will pay off in our results and our example. If you want others to work hard, show them your example.

“What do YOU think the answer is?” I love this question because it is encouraging the other person to think. As leaders, one of the most important things we can do is to engage our teammates in thinking and solving problems themselves.  When we continually expect input from our teammates, we will get broader perspectives, more commitment and engagement, and better results.

“Just because everyone’s doing it, does that make it right?” As leaders, we must lead to the best outcome, not the just the popular one. In fact, often the best leaders will take a contrarian approach – zigging when others zag.

Leave things better than you found them. What if, in every situation, everyone on our team did this? What if every leader made this their mantra? We would have continuous improvement, higher quality and safety results, and a culture of accountability and success. When leaders adopt this idea, they will get those results, and leave a legacy that will far surpass their career.

One more thing…

I asked people to share things parent said. Yet most of the responses I received talked as much about what parent did as what they said. As important as our words are as a leader, it is ultimately our actions that will be remembered, noticed, followed, and will make the biggest difference.

Thanks to all the readers of Unleashing Your Remarkable Potential and my Daily Email for your help and input – whether your lessons made this list or not.

I have shared lessons from some of the things my parents told me and the related leadership lessons on my TikTok Channel. You can see those and much more here.

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Kevin Eikenberry is a recognized world expert on leadership development and learning and is the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group. He has spent over 30 years helping organizations across North America, and leaders from around the world, on leadership, learning, teams and teamwork, communication and more.

Twice he has been named by Inc.com as one of the Top 100 Leadership and Management Experts in the World and 100 Great Leadership Speakers for Your Next Conference. The American Management Association named him a “Leaders to Watch” and he has been twice named as one of the World's Top 30 Leadership Professionals by Global Gurus. Top Sales World has named him a Top Sales & Marketing Influencer several times, and his blog has been named on many “best of” lists. LeadersHum has named him one of the 200 Biggest Voices in Leadership in 2023.

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  1. Sorry to be late with this. One of my favorites from my mother is, “The hurrier you go, the behinder you get.”

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