As a leader, talking is part of the job. Whether it’s sharing information, making decisions, or answering questions, you’ve got to communicate. But as I've thought about it more and reflected on my own experiences, I’ve realized that sometimes leaders – myself included – can end up talking too much without even realizing it.
This topic is actually part of a continuing series of ideas from my new book, Flexible Leadership: Navigate Uncertainty and Lead with Confidence. So today, I want to challenge you to put on your leadership hat and ask yourself: Am I talking too much?
Why Leaders Talk Too Much
Talking comes naturally to many of us. It’s not just that we feel the need to share our thoughts – often, it’s because we have information that others don’t, and we know it’s our responsibility to communicate it. Sometimes we’re making decisions and need to explain why we made them, and other times, we’re simply answering questions. Those are all good reasons to talk as a leader.
But here’s the thing – even though we’re talking for the right reasons, we might still be talking too much. If you’re like me and have some extroverted tendencies, you might naturally fill the silence without thinking twice about it. It feels right, but it doesn’t always mean it’s helpful.
The reality is that when we talk too much, it can lead to unintended consequences:
- Others Are Less Likely to Talk: When we fill the space with our own words, it discourages others from sharing their perspectives.
- People Might Feel Unheard: If you’re constantly talking, your team may feel like their opinions aren’t valued or needed.
- You Miss Out on Valuable Insights: By dominating the conversation, you might miss opportunities to learn from others and gain different viewpoints.
Three Times to Stop Talking
So, when should we talk less? I’ve got three quick pieces of advice for you.
1. When You Want or Need Input
If you genuinely want input from your team, the best thing you can do is stop talking. Give them space to share their thoughts, and make it clear that you’re not just looking for validation – you really want their perspectives. It’s amazing how much more people will contribute when they feel there’s room for their ideas.
2. When You Want to Build Trust
One of the quickest ways to build trust is through listening. Real, active listening. And let’s be honest – you can’t listen while you’re talking. By stopping to hear what others have to say, you’re showing them that you value their opinions and insights. That simple act goes a long way in building stronger relationships.
3. When You Want to Understand Different Perspectives
Everyone on your team has their own unique viewpoint, shaped by their experiences and perspectives. If you’re always talking, you’re not hearing what they think. Taking the time to listen not only shows respect, but it also helps you make better decisions by incorporating diverse perspectives.
I know it can feel counterintuitive. We’re leaders – we’re supposed to guide and direct, right? But leadership isn’t just about talking; it’s about listening too. The sooner we stop talking, the more likely others will speak up. And when they do, we gain insights that help us make wiser decisions.
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