The average American spends 138 minutes a day worrying.
That's two hours and eighteen minutes — every single day — lost to "what if."
Do the math and that's 16 hours a week, 60 hours a month, and 35 full days a year spent on worry. A 2025 survey of 2,000 Americans found that nearly half — 47% — feel they're in a constant state of worry.
I don't share those numbers to add to your anxiety. I share them because I think most of us underestimate how much worry is costing us, especially as leaders.
Here's what I know for certain: when I'm worried, my productivity drops. My thinking gets cloudy. My attention narrows. And I'd bet yours does too.
So the real question isn't whether you worry — it's whether your worry is doing anything useful.
What Worry Actually Is
Before we talk about how to stop worrying, it helps to understand what worry is.
Worry is always a projection. It's always about something that hasn't happened yet — a "what if" about the future. You're not worried about right now. You're worried about what might happen later.
That distinction matters, because it means the energy we spend worrying is almost never spent on the present moment. It's spent on a future we can't fully control.
That's not to say we should ignore what's coming. Planning, preparing, and problem-solving are all productive responses to future uncertainty. Worry — the kind that loops in the background without going anywhere — usually isn't.
The 3 Questions That Help You Stop Worrying
Over the years, I've found that the most effective way to deal with worry isn't to suppress it or distract yourself from it. It's to run it through a quick filter.
Here are three questions that help me do that. Ask them in order. If you get a "no" at any point, let that worry go.
Question 1: Is it a problem?
Not everything we worry about is an actual problem. Sometimes we're anxious about things that are unlikely, theoretical, or simply not as serious as they feel in the moment. Start here. If the answer is no — it's not really a problem — let it go.
Question 2: Is it important?
If it is a problem, does it actually matter? Some problems are real but low-stakes. They don't need your mental bandwidth. If the answer is no — it's not important enough to carry — let it go.
Question 3: Can I change or influence the outcome?
This is the decisive one. If something is a genuine problem and it matters and you have no ability to affect what happens — worrying about it still doesn't help. Let it go.
But if the answer to all three questions is yes? Then stop worrying and start acting.
From Worry to Action
Here's the shift: worry is passive. Action is the antidote.
When you go through these three questions and land on "yes, yes, yes," that's not a signal to worry more — it's a signal to do something. Take a step. Make a call. Have a conversation. Create a plan. Do whatever moves you from "what if" to "here's what I'm doing about it."
That shift — from projection to action — is where worry loses its grip.
The goal of this framework isn't to eliminate awareness of risk or challenge. It's to stop spending mental energy on things you either can't control or don't need to control. That energy belongs elsewhere.
What This Means for Leaders
Worry isn't just a personal productivity issue. For leaders, it's a team issue.
Uncertainty breeds anxiety, and anxiety spreads. When your team doesn't know what's going on, they fill in the gaps — and what they fill them with is usually worse than the truth. As leaders, we have more influence over the worry levels on our teams than we often realize.
Here are three things you can do to address worry at the organizational level:
1. Communicate more clearly
Most workplace worry lives in the gaps of communication. When people don't know what's happening — with a reorganization, a budget decision, a strategic shift — they worry. Not because they're fragile, but because uncertainty is genuinely uncomfortable for human beings.
The solution isn't to have all the answers. It's to share what you know, acknowledge what you don't, and give people a clearer picture of where things stand. Transparency reduces uncertainty. Reduced uncertainty reduces worry.
2. Create feedback loops
Information flowing one direction isn't enough. People need the opportunity to ask questions, voice concerns, and get responses. When leaders communicate but don't create space for dialogue, unresolved anxiety stays underground — and grows.
Feedback loops can be simple: a standing Q&A in a team meeting, an open-door policy that's actually practiced, or a direct check-in with someone who seems off. The point is to create a two-way channel, not just a broadcast.
3. Teach the three questions
The framework above works for individuals, but it also works for teams. When people have a shared language for processing worry — Is it a problem? Is it important? Can I influence it? — it gives them a practical tool instead of leaving them to ruminate on their own.
Leaders who normalize this kind of thinking build more resilient teams. Not because they eliminate uncertainty, but because they give people a way to work through it.
The Bottom Line on Worry
You reduce worry when you focus on what you can influence and let go of the rest.
That's not a platitude. It's a discipline. And like most disciplines, it gets easier with practice.
The next time you catch yourself in a worry loop, run the three questions. If you land on a "no" anywhere along the way, give yourself permission to let it go. If you land on three "yeses," get to work.
Either way, you stop waiting for the future to resolve itself and start putting your energy somewhere it can actually make a difference.
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