We’ve all been criticized, and we have all leveled criticism at others, both directly and indirectly.
This week, I ran across a quote that expresses my personal opinion about this topic extremely effectively.
And, just because it is my philosophy, doesn’t mean I always live it very well. . . which is why I am writing on this topic this morning, figuring I’m not alone.
“By criticizing other people, we are increasing the behavior that we object to.”
– Steve Chandler, author
Questions to Ponder
- How often do I criticize others?
- How successful is it?
Action Steps
- Before criticizing today, consider why you want to share criticism.
- If your goal is to improve or change their behavior, consider talking about what you want them to do, as opposed to simply telling them what you don’t want them to do.
- If your goal isn’t about them at all, strongly consider keeping your mouth shut.
My Thoughts
How successful has all of the criticism you have received been? I mean, how much of it has truly led to your changed behavior?
I’m guessing if you look at it, the batting average is pretty low.
Guess what?
The batting average of the criticism you level at others is pretty low, too.
If your goal is to help people change behavior, reconsider how you give negative feedback, by helping people see what to do next time, not just tell them what they did wrong. For more on this, see my post about using the four types of feedback effectively.
Good food for thought!
I find that most people don’t need criticising in any form. All you need to d is to encourgage to increasingly reflect on and witness their own behaviour. This way they become the own critiques. The task then is to ensure that they do not become overly self critical. Instead they use their obsevations as data for their own development. They observe, understand, plan a change and let it go.
Terry