Members of the Remarkable Leadership Learning Systemare focusing on the skill of Nurturing Relationships all this month.  In our teleseminar on Monday I explored differences between the words building and nurturing and why those differences matter when thinking aobut relationships, especially as a leader.

When we build something we form or construct or assemble it.  When I think of these words I think of the assembly instructions that come with something you buy at the home improvement or toy store.

But when you nurture something, you support, encourage and help it to grow.  Here, I think plant or garden – and water, fertilizer, sunlight and more.

For me, I’d rather have someone nourish or feed (the root words of nurture) a relationship with me than to construct or assemble it.

Is this playing with words?  Perhaps a little.  But I believe the difference is real.  When we think about relationships as living and breathing organisms, rather than things, we will treat them differently; I believe better.

When we as leaders think about this difference, and take action on it, we will reap a harvest of better relationships – an important outcome in many ways.

What do you think?  How does this difference in language inform you about the ways you can strengthen your working relationships?

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Kevin Eikenberry is a recognized world expert on leadership development and learning and is the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group. He has spent over 30 years helping organizations across North America, and leaders from around the world, on leadership, learning, teams and teamwork, communication and more.

Twice he has been named by Inc.com as one of the Top 100 Leadership and Management Experts in the World and 100 Great Leadership Speakers for Your Next Conference. The American Management Association named him a “Leaders to Watch” and he has been twice named as one of the World's Top 30 Leadership Professionals by Global Gurus. Top Sales World has named him a Top Sales & Marketing Influencer several times, and his blog has been named on many “best of” lists. LeadersHum has named him one of the 200 Biggest Voices in Leadership in 2023.

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  1. Whether you build or nurture relationships depends, in part, on your purpose for doing either. But, why not do both.

    It is relatively easy to develop (build) relationships of mutual trust and respect with most people, one-to-one, in about 20 minutes. Building and/or nurturing that kind of relationship with a large number of people is much more difficult.

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