Three Barriers to Great Coaching

Chances are, if you are reading this, you would like to be a better coach. And further, chances are, if you are reading this, you are probably already an above average coach – because those are whom want to keep getting better. I want to share with you three barriers to great coaching for two reasons – because they are barriers, and because we might not immediately see them in that way.

Expertise

People typically want coaching from people who have “been there and done that.” Often people want you to know the details of their situation – they wonder if you have done that process, been in their shoes, and successfully navigated past their challenges.

If that is true, why is expertise a barrier?

The most powerful learning is discovery learning – and if we lean into our expertise and experience too quickly – which is the opposite of discovery learning. If we provide immediate answers, make coaching transactional, we aren’t supporting discovery - we may be creating co-dependence. At the extreme, when we misuse our expertise, we teach people that it isn’t their role to figure things out, but rather just ask for your advice.

Perhaps an even bigger barrier is that our expertise in the situation may lock us into solutions or advice before we fully understand the context, think about the skills of the person we are coaching, or remember what it was like when we were learning those skills. Our expertise can lead us to jump to conclusions, and while seemingly helpful, perhaps providing less than effective coaching.

Ego

A healthy ego gives us the confidence to coach. But our ego can hurt our ability to coach too.

An unchecked ego can lead to coaching for control and being over-directing. Rather than helping people discover their own way, we may set the bar for success as “doing it the way we do it.” If we make the expectation as “my way is the right way”, we don’t allow for creativity, process improvement, empowerment or accountability.

An unchecked ego can lead the coach to over-identify with the coachee’s success or failure. Coaches have a responsibility to coach, but ultimately the other person is accountable for their behavior and results. Make sure you keep your accountability clear – and don’t seek the validation that comes from the success of the people you coach.

Example

I’ve long said that people watch our feet more than our lips. Our example does speak louder than our words.

Which is why our example can be a barrier to great coaching. Specifically, if we advise actions or behaviors we aren’t doing. Great coaches are great in part because their example matches their advice. This is one of the great truths and responsibilities of coaching. Don’t give counsel or feedback to do something you aren’t doing (or aren’t willing to start doing) yourself.

All three of these factors can help us be a more effective coach. Our expertise can be helpful. A healthy ego can open the door to our willingness to coach, and when our example matches our coaching, it is perhaps the most powerful coaching we can provide.

But each of these factors can, as I have described, become barriers to great coaching – especially if misused or misunderstood. Hopefully this article gives you a new perspective on these factors and helps you avoid the possible abuses and misuses.