Sunday I was in Ludington Michigan on a cloudy overcast day. The weather forecast was for rain most of the day. I was about to eat breakfast with my Mom and Step Dad. When I sat down the waitress asked me what I wanted to drink, then she asked me the question that lead to this post.
“Is it still raining or is it done?”
At the moment it wasn’t raining, but clearly according to both the clouds and the weather report it would rain again during the day.
I answered letting her know it wasn’t raining when I walked in, but that I was sure it wasn’t done.
After she walked away I thought about the error in her question and how that error – and other assumptions – keep us from asking the best questions, the questions that will really give us the information we need or help us solve the problem we face.
The twin flaws in her question were lack of clarity and presuming a black and white world. When you observe the questions asked around you, you will notice these problems with questions all the time. Compounding the problem is asking these flawed questions via email, IM or text where thy can be taken further out of context or misunderstood.
The solution?
Ask more open ended questions, and be clear on what you are wanting to learn before you ask.
This is important advice for everyone of course, but the impacts for us as leaders are profound. Because of our position, people may be cautious in communicating with us, meaning they are more likely to take the question at face value – meaning the importance of us asking clear and effective questions is elevated even further.
Asking great questions is a hallmark of a great communicator, a great learner and and great leader.
Take my short experience on Sunday and place it into the context and situations around you. It will help you ask better questions, get better answers and create greater results for everyone.
and,when you get an answer…you might ask: “Who told you that?”
Often the source of an answer can modify its usefullness.
Her question seems to have really been about what action – or lack thereof – was required on her part. Should she take the time to borrow an umbrella when she leaves in an hour, or is she okay to just walk to her car? Had she phrased the question in the context of what she really wanted to know, the answer could be more beneficial to both. Asking, “Do you think I’ll need my umbrella when I leave here soon,” would give her more direct feedback, plus give you the feeling that comes from being a subject matter expert, as much as one can be an SME about the weather. Your answer wouldn’t change, but the question’s relevance would.
Or did she not care at all about the weather, but about filling the pregnant pause between pouring coffee and bringing the check, and she didn’t want to ask about the Red Wings?
Kevin, the “Art of the Question” is an important skill, indeed. In my work with Global 500 leadership, I’ve always advocated the Socratic method: asking questions instead of making statements. In a problem-solving situation, the problem is readily solved by framing it with the right questions. In conflict-resolution, our ability to ask open-ended questions pave the way for common ground and an opportunity to arrive at a win-win situation.
Great post.
This is a very useful post, but can’t help but think: heck, poor waitresses! First, there was the old tray of full beer-steins without spilling thing which they do well but can’t explain for anything, and now the flawed question. They get nailed for a lot! I like it when they are pleasant and bring our food. I’m not ready to hold them to account for more than that!
However, I do have a quibble with supervisors and colleagues who ask flawed questions and this happens all the time. It’s not always easy to ask them to rephrase the question so it can be answered better. I like to guide the people I work with toward a rethinking of their requests but after a while, I find the root of it seems to be how much understanding they have of their context. It goes quite deep sometimes.
I was up in that neck of the woods the day before so I just HAD to see the question story.
Great points regarding how questions are asked. Another area where questions that are open-ended as opposed closed “yes” “no” responses; doing research (interviewing subjects), if the answer can only be yes or no you’re probably missing the story. The other area, which may have financial implications, writing requests for proposal (RFPs). I see this mistake frequently. The challenge with the yes/no response on an RFP is that any salesman worth his business card will never say “no”. So the challege is when crafting an RFP is to frame the questions that encourage a range of possible “yes” answers.
But back to the waitress. Having been a server and a bartender in a previous life this is what she was doing. Making small talk, where the bar for clarity is much lower.