Advice.
As leaders, we give quite a bit of it. So much that we probably don’t really think that much about it. I believe we need to think much more about it. We need to think about it in three dimensions – why we are delivering it, how we are delivering it and what we want people to do with it.
Let’s look at each dimension.
Why Are You Giving Advice?
I believe that whether we are thinking about it or not, every time we give advice to anyone (as a leader, parent, spouse, friend, or stranger), we are considering that advice somewhere on the scale between take it as gospel (do it exactly like this) and its guidance (here’s something to consider). But these two goals aren’t exact or perfect – rather we see our advice somewhere on this scale:
In my experience, whether based on habit, style or without even thinking, most leaders tend to place their goal for advice in a pretty consistent place on this continuum.
We call the tension between the ends of this continuum a flexor and this both/and thinking is the underpinning of being a flexible leader.
There are times when the context warrants your goal being far to the “gospel” left (when the context is clear and the outcomes and situation is known), and times when perhaps there are many unknowns and your experience might be helpful but should be seen on the “guidance” right side of the scale. And even given those considerations, you might have goals for delegation and development of your team members that might lead you to lean to the right or left on this continuum.
I propose that you must first be clear on your intention – why are you giving this advice and how do you want others to use it? Because if you don’t think about that, how people interpret your advice will be left to their perception which might not match your goals – or their needs.
What Do You Want Them to Do with It?
From your intention flows your answer to this question. Consider this situation and these two employees. You face a situation that is clear in nature. You have seen this situation or challenge before and have had success in overcoming it with a specific set of reliable steps.
Joel has been on your team for a couple of months. He shows promise but doesn’t have a lot of experience on your team and doesn’t know all the players involved in the situation very well.
Jael has been on your team longer. She does have experience with this situation. She also shows great promise and you see her as ready for advancement and skill development.
Would your goals or intention for your advice be the same for each of them?
Do you want them to assimilate and apply your advice in the same way?
I would propose that the context for Joel and Jael is different and so your intention for each might be different. Based on just this info, even though you have a proven process each could follow, you might want to have slightly different goals for each.
I might lean the intention of my advice to the left for Joel – giving him more of a “how to” approach, and more to the right for Jael – giving her guidance and things to consider.
Note that the intention now isn’t just about your experience and knowledge, but how you want others to apply it.
And how does your intention for this advice impact how you will deliver it?
Hopefully in a way that makes either Joel or Jael crystal clear on your expectations.
How are You Delivering it?
The big idea here is that your delivery should match your intention and your desired action.
If you want people to follow your advice verbatim (the “gospel” message), given your positional power, deliver it clearly and maybe even pointedly. If there is a current approach and you want them to follow it, make that clear.
But if you want your advice to be seen as guidance – and more suggestion than imperative – make sure that is clear too. And likely you will want to use a softer tone and delivery as well.
As “the boss”, people may likely default to a “yes, boss” belief about your intent, unless you are clear for yourself and with them.
The idea of flexors in terms of our intention and goal for interaction with others is a key idea in my upcoming book Flexible Leadership: Navigate Uncertainty and Lead with Confidence. While the book doesn’t discuss the “Gospel – Guidance Flexor”, it does explore 19 others and helps you see how the context of the situation can help us determine where we want to land on the continuum of any flexor.
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