You’ve seen the blame game.
Something goes wrong (or not the way people wanted it to go), so they point fingers at someone else and blame them for the mistakes or failure. Of course, that other person or group sends blame right back at the same time. Both sides hurtling accusations like rocks, while thinking the other side is crazy.
The truth is you’ve not just seen this game, you’ve played it. At a minimum, you have been a silent team member, letting the game go on, but more likely, at least occasionally, you have led the charge of the blame, leading you and the team to nothing positive or new.
This game is played in meeting rooms, cubicles, and shop floors each day. It is played silently in our heads and across the media nationally and internationally. While there are no real winners in this game, it is easy to see why it is played so frequently, because it is easier to blame someone else than to do something to fix the problem or situation.
The reason no one wins the blame game is because the problem doesn’t get solved, the situation doesn’t improve, or the stress isn’t reduced. The fact is to blame is to b(e) lame. While it is seductive to blame others and do nothing, it is actually pretty lame because we are letting go of our ability to influence change and make the thing we are blaming others about, get better.
Stopping the Game and Getting Better Results
So what is the alternative?
How do we end the blame game?
The way to end blame, is right at the end of the word.
Blame.
Your blame ends when you look in the mirror. The person you see – me – is the solution. When an individual starts to think about the situation in an accountable way by asking the questions about themselves and their role in the situation, blame evaporates, the energy changes, and the possibility of better results surfaces.
What part of this result belongs to me?
What role did I play?
What did I contribute to the situation?
What could I do differently next time?
How can I influence others to look at this differently next time?
These are the questions of ownership, of accountability, and they are the death of blame.
These questions can be asked of ourselves, but they can also be a positive catalyst in a group. The next time you hear a group starting to blame, and make excuses rather than taking responsibility, think about blame. Move your mindset out of blame and into accountability by asking these questions of yourself, and the others in the room.
It is possible that others won’t join you. It is possible you will be thinking and acting in an accountable way alone; but you will be changing your habit, and setting a new example. If you don’t like the game, just remember this:
The end of blame starts with me.
Remarkable Principle: Blame is a barrier to accountability. The blame game must stop if you want personal and organizational accountability.
Your Now Steps
- When do you play the blame game?
- . What benefits are deriving from this game?
- What action can you take right now to reduce the blame in your head or on your team?
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Looking for more ways to create accountability and develop your leadership skills? Send us a line at info@kevineikenberry.com or check out our upcoming learning events here.
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