We all know that stereotyping others is unhelpful, even unfair. But have you ever stopped to consider whether you’re stereotyping yourself?

At first, you might resist this idea. You probably associate stereotyping with judging others—something you try to avoid. But the reality is, we all do this to ourselves, often without realizing it. And when we do, we limit our potential and restrict our own growth.

How We Stereotype Ourselves

Think about some of the things you say about yourself:

  • I’m bad at math.
  • I’m an extrovert.
  • I’m an excellent driver.
  • I’m a coaching leader, a servant leader, or a decisive leader.

On the surface, these might just seem like personal traits or identities. But let’s dig a little deeper. Are you always bad at math? Are you always extroverted? Are you always an excellent driver?

These labels might contain some truth, but they don’t tell the whole story. They create rigid definitions of who we are and how we behave, making it harder for us to adapt, grow, and improve.

The Danger of Self-Stereotyping

When we define ourselves too narrowly, we box ourselves in. We assume that certain behaviors or skills are beyond us because they don’t fit the identity we’ve created.

If you believe you’re a “coaching leader,” for example, you might avoid making decisive calls when they’re necessary—because it doesn’t fit your self-definition. If you label yourself an introvert, you might convince yourself that you’re not good at public speaking, even though you could develop that skill with practice.

Stereotypes simplify things, but they also strip away the nuance of who we really are. We’re complex, ever-evolving human beings—not fixed categories.

Why We Do This

Self-stereotyping happens because of a natural human tendency: pattern recognition. Our brains love to categorize and simplify information. When we see patterns in our behavior, we label ourselves accordingly.

But while pattern recognition is useful for understanding the world, it becomes a problem when it limits our ability to grow and change.

Breaking Free from Self-Stereotyping

The good news? We can change this. Here’s how:

  1. Recognize Your Self-Stereotypes – Pay attention to the labels you assign yourself. Are they really true all the time?
  2. Challenge Your Assumptions – When you catch yourself saying, “I’m just not good at that,” ask, “Is that really true? Or have I just told myself that story for too long?”
  3. Embrace Growth and Flexibility – Instead of thinking in absolutes (I’m bad at math), shift your mindset (I can improve my math skills if I practice).
  4. Experiment with Different Approaches – If you see yourself as one type of leader, challenge yourself to try a different leadership style in certain situations.

Breaking free from self-stereotyping isn’t just about personal growth—it’s about leadership. The more flexible and adaptable you are, the more effective you’ll be in leading yourself and others.

When you stereotype yourself by assuming an identity, it becomes increasingly difficult to expand or flex your approach.

What self-stereotypes have you been holding onto? Maybe it’s time to let them go.

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Kevin Eikenberry is a recognized world expert on leadership development and learning and is the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group. He has spent over 30 years helping organizations across North America, and leaders from around the world, on leadership, learning, teams and teamwork, communication and more.

Twice he has been named by Inc.com as one of the Top 100 Leadership and Management Experts in the World and 100 Great Leadership Speakers for Your Next Conference. The American Management Association named him a “Leaders to Watch” and he has been twice named as one of the World's Top 30 Leadership Professionals by Global Gurus. Top Sales World has named him a Top Sales & Marketing Influencer several times, and his blog has been named on many “best of” lists. LeadersHum has named him one of the 200 Biggest Voices in Leadership in 2023.

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