Are you trying to develop yourself on your own?
Let’s just be clear about something.
There is no such thing as a self-made person.
And there is definitely no such thing as a self-made leader.
Yet too often, we act like we should be able to figure it all out ourselves. We put pressure on ourselves to be smarter, to have all the answers, to push through without help. We believe that if we just work harder or read one more book, we can solve it alone.
That belief isn’t helping you.
In fact, it’s slowing your progress.
Leadership Can Be Lonely — But Not Solo
Leadership can feel lonely at times. You carry responsibility. You make difficult decisions. You often see things others don’t.
But lonely and alone are not the same thing.
The role of being a leader is far too complex for any of us to succeed without support. The expectations are too high. The challenges are too dynamic.
If you’re serious about growing as a leader, you must shift your mindset:
Developing yourself is essential.
And it is too important to do by yourself.
Leadership development is a team sport.
Find Your People
You need people around you who will:
- Support you
- Encourage you
- Challenge you
They might be peers in your organization.
They might be leaders in other companies.
They might be mentors, coaches, or trusted colleagues.
The key question is simple:
Who is helping you become the leader you are capable of being?
If you don’t have an answer to that question, that’s your first step.
Find Your Process
Support isn’t just about people — it’s about process.
What are you reading?
What are you listening to?
What are you watching?
How are you intentionally building your skills and mindset?
And beyond content, what is your process for coaching and feedback? Are you learning from your peers? From your boss? From a coach?
Growth doesn’t happen by accident. It happens with intention.
You need a development process — not just good intentions.
Don’t Forget Your Team
There’s another group you cannot ignore.
Your team.
The people you lead have some of the most valuable insight into how effectively you are leading. Yet many leaders never create a structured way to receive honest feedback from them.
Do you have a feedback loop?
Do you regularly ask:
- What could I do to help you be more effective?
- What should I start doing? Stop doing? Continue doing?
If leadership development is a team sport, your team must be part of that team.
An Organizational Responsibility
If you’re reading this as a senior leader, there’s another layer to consider.
Organizations must set the expectation that leader development is not a solo act.
Make it clear that growth is collaborative.
Provide resources.
Provide processes.
Encourage peer learning.
Recommend tools and content.
And sometimes, get outside help.
Just as individual leaders can’t do it alone, organizations often can’t build leadership capability alone either.
There is no weakness in seeking support. There is wisdom in it.
Leadership can be lonely — but you can’t develop as a leader alone.
The better question isn’t:
“How can I figure this out?”
It’s:
“Who is helping me grow?”
And if you lead others, ask this too:
“How are we helping our leaders grow?”
Those are the questions that lead to real progress.
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