Interrupting—it’s a habit many of us struggle with, myself included. Over the years, I’ve come to realize just how much interrupting can hinder communication and damage relationships. If you’re like me, someone who’s been an interrupter and is working on breaking that habit, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive into some actionable strategies to help us all improve our listening skills and stop interrupting.
This is an essential skill because interrupting isn’t just about talking over someone. It’s about missing what they’re saying. When we interrupt, we’re not truly listening, and that can prevent us from building trust, understanding others fully, or simply letting someone feel heard.
If you recognize that you struggle with interrupting, you’re not alone. It’s a challenge for many, but the good news is that it’s a skill we can develop. Here are some strategies I’ve worked on myself and continue to practice.
1. Realize You’re Interrupting
The first step to solving any problem is awareness. Many of us don’t even realize when we’re interrupting—it can be a lack of self-awareness or simply habit. Take a step back and pay attention to your conversations. Are you cutting people off? Are you rushing to add your point? Acknowledging the problem is critical to addressing it.
2. Match the Pace of the Other Person
This one has been a game-changer for me. I tend to speak quickly and think out loud, which means I often jump in when someone pauses. Sometimes, they’re not done talking—they’re just pausing to think. Pay attention to the other person’s pace. If they speak more slowly or with more pauses, adjust your own rhythm to match theirs.
To help with this, try waiting an extra beat after they’ve finished talking. That little moment of silence can ensure they’re truly finished and that you’re not interrupting mid-thought.
3. Use a Reminder Gesture
One reason we interrupt is that we’re afraid we’ll forget what we wanted to say. To combat this, my team uses a simple technique in virtual meetings: crossing a finger or holding a hand up to indicate we have an idea to share. This visual cue reminds us of our point without cutting into someone else’s.
You don’t need to make this obvious in everyday conversations—just crossing a finger in your lap can help you remember your thought while still focusing on the speaker.
4. Be Interested, Not Interesting
This phrase, inspired by Dale Carnegie, is invaluable. When we focus on being interesting, we’re more concerned about sharing our thoughts or making our point. But when we prioritize being interested, we’re fully engaged in what the other person is saying. Stay curious about their perspective. The more you focus on them, the less likely you are to interrupt.
5. Let Go of the Need to Add a Point
Sometimes, we feel compelled to jump in with an example or a final thought, even if it doesn’t add much to the conversation. The truth is, we don’t always need to have the last word or add an anecdote. Ask yourself: Does this truly add value? If not, it might be better left unsaid.
6. Stop and Apologize When You Do Interrupt
Even with practice, mistakes happen. When you catch yourself interrupting, stop immediately and apologize. It’s as simple as saying, “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to interrupt. Please continue.” This small act of humility not only acknowledges your mistake but also allows the conversation to continue respectfully.
However, be careful not to follow up your apology with more talking! Pause and give the other person the floor again.
If you want to be seen as a better listener—and genuinely be one—you must release the urge to interrupt. Listening well is one of the most valuable skills you can develop, both as a leader and as a human being.
Interrupting might be a tough habit to break, but with these strategies, you can improve over time. And when you do, you’ll not only become a better listener—you’ll also strengthen your relationships, build trust, and become a more effective leader.
Let’s make the effort to listen more and interrupt less. It’s worth it.
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