There are Two Kinds of Failure – Which Occur on Your Team?

Failure.

This isn’t a word that is super inspiring or brings joy to our hearts and minds. Yet it is something we need to think about as a leader and individual. To think about failure in a more effective and helpful way (and perhaps stop avoiding it), let’s realize that there are two kinds of failure.

The Two Kinds of Failure

The first kind of failure comes from never trying ideas out of fear. Fear caused by lack of confidence, concern about how we will be viewed, or worry about the outcomes of the failure (including how it might impact our career).

This fear stems from negative answers to the “what if” question – what if we try and fail? But the problem comes from the same “what if” question – what if we try and succeed? And even if we fail, what could we learn? The timidity that keeps us from even trying is one form of fear.

The second kind of failure comes from boldness, not fear. Trying and failing might cause a hit to our reputation, but what we learn from it far outweighs those risks.

Viewing failure not as a final result but as a chance to learn something changes our approach to trying. But this can’t be a motto on a coffee mug. Everyone knows that failure contains lessons. However, not everyone sees it that way for themselves or at work.

Which Do You See?

Now that you can categorize failures this way, which are you seeing in your organization and on your team? Failures of timidity, or failures from trying?

Now a second question - which type of failure would you prefer?

Most people I ask say they would rather have people fail by trying. Yet most of those same people would say trying new things isn’t always welcomed or seen as safe in their organizations.

One final question – which type of failure do people see from you?

Which of the two kinds of failure are you modeling? Are you timid yourself? Or are you making it safer for people to try, fail, learn, and grow?

What Can You Do?

What you can do depends on which type of failure you are seeing. You may have an overall view that one or the other type of failure prevails. Yet when you think about coaching individuals, you need to be able to help people with both kinds of failure.

Coaching Timid Failure

If you see timid failure – the reluctance to try – here are five things you can do:

• Look for the source of the timidity.
• If it is a lack of confidence, help people find past successes as a boost to try again.
• If it is a concern about safety, let them know that mistakes on your team are not fatal or final.
• Be more encouraging.
• Offer to help determine the learning that will come from success or failure.

When people see you as their ally personally and as a leader, their timidity will likely drop enough for them to try.

Coaching Trying Failure

If you see trying failure and the boldness that comes with it – here are five things you can do:

• Encourage trying!
• Reward not just success but the willingness to try.
• Help people make attempts that create learning but not hazardous situations.
• Provide a safety net so that mistakes won’t be career limiting.
• Help people see the results fully and learn from the success or failure of each attempt.

Given the choice, I would choose trying failure over timid failure every time.

Why?

Because learning and growth comes from trying. Very little comes from timidity except the safety of the status quo.