Listening is a skill that can transform our relationships, our work, and even how we view the world. Over the years, I’ve learned that being a good listener isn’t just about hearing what’s being said—it’s about connecting, understanding, and truly engaging with the person in front of you. Today, I’d like to share five ways to become a better listener, starting with a decision to improve and ending with techniques that make a real difference.
1. Decide to Be Better
The first step to becoming a better listener is simply deciding you want to improve. This may sound basic, but like any skill—whether it’s listening, leading, or learning something new—it starts with an intentional decision. Once you see the value in being a better listener, you’ll naturally become more invested in developing the skill. When we commit to truly hearing others, we improve relationships, strengthen our leadership, and enrich our personal lives. So, take a moment to decide: I want to get better at this.
2. Be Curious
Curiosity is key. When we approach a conversation with genuine curiosity, listening becomes natural. I’ve often asked people to practice listening by engaging in a conversation about something they’re not inherently interested in. They usually find themselves far more drawn in than expected, all because they started with curiosity. When you approach conversations with a curious mind, it leads you to ask more questions, focus better, and ultimately understand more deeply.
3. Stop Doing Everything Else
In a world full of distractions, this one is big. When you’re listening, put down your phone, close your laptop, and eliminate any other distractions. Give the person speaking your full attention. Not only does this make you a better listener, but it shows respect to the person who’s talking. When we commit to fully focusing, we can absorb more and respond in ways that are far more meaningful.
4. Focus on Them and Their Message
This tip goes beyond hearing words; it’s about understanding the person behind the words. When someone is sharing something, there’s often more beneath the surface—emotions, intentions, or an underlying message. Good listening means focusing not just on what’s being said, but on who’s saying it. Look at their body language, tone, and try to understand the feelings behind their words. By truly focusing on the person and their message, you’ll not only hear them better, but you’ll also connect on a deeper level.
5. Ask More, Talk Less
This is a simple principle, but it’s one of the most powerful. When we ask questions, we show that we’re engaged and interested, and we create space for the other person to share more. If you’re naturally curious, this step will come easily. When you want to understand someone, give them the floor. Ask questions, listen to their responses, and hold back on jumping in with your own thoughts. When we talk less and listen more, our conversations become richer and more rewarding.
Improving your listening isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about using a few key strategies to make a real impact. From being curious to eliminating distractions, these steps can help anyone become a better listener. And remember, like any skill, listening improves with practice. So take the first step—decide you want to be better—and see how these tips can make a difference in your interactions.
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