Do you expect your team to read your mind?
As a leader, you've likely experienced this frustration. I know I have — I've seen it and heard it over and over.
Here it is: someone didn't do what you expected. You're disappointed. You're frustrated. But you actually never told them what you expected. So how were they supposed to succeed?
This is what I call the silent expectation.
Silent Expectations Equal Future Disappointment
First, remember this — and honestly, this alone is worth the whole post: silent expectations equal future disappointment. Guaranteed.
Here's the thing. You have a different context and a different experience than your people do. So they're trying to figure out what you expect, working hard, maybe putting in more effort than is actually needed, trying to fix things. And when they don't meet the expectation you never stated, it usually isn't a lack of willingness or skill. But even if it is those things, we won't figure that out until we've made the expectations themselves actually clear.
Your Assumptions Are Unknown to Them
You've probably seen people take the word "assume" apart and joke about it. There's truth in the jest. People don't know what you assume. And often the reason expectations stay silent is simply because we don't think they need to be said.
Be Clear Yourself
One of the challenges I run into when I coach leaders through this is that they can't tell me exactly what they want. Even if it's clear in their head — if you can't tell me, I can't know. So it's not just that you didn't tell your team. It's that you weren't able to yet. That means you've got to put it into words. We have to put our thoughts into words, and when we do, we get clarity. Even if it's not perfect at first, that clarity lets us help the other person figure it out — we get there together, in conversation.
The Organizational Cost of Silent Expectations
So what do we do about this organizationally?
Because this isn't just a problem for a few leaders here and there, or once in a while. It's rampant. Unclear expectations are one of the biggest hidden costs in organizations — they create rework, frustration, and turnover. They are the foundation of accountability, trust, and results. Which means we need to take this problem of silent, hidden expectations and make it something we actually work on, think about, and overcome — organizationally.
Clear, spoken — not silent — expectations are a foundational skill of great leaders.
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